I’m at Starbucks with my guy filling out apps for a second job this school year, and I keep making snippy remarks about all the Pumpkin Spice Latte banners and signs and pictures and GAH!- it’s too much. Every year I make a stink about premature pumpkin publicity and this year will be no different. Since I like to make lists for quite a few things in my life, I’ve quickly prepared here the prerequisites for consuming pumpkin ANYTHING according to Molly:
1. Real pumpkins must be fully in-season. I hope you didn’t forget that pumpkins are a real food, and that it’s not a flavor that exists only in coffee shops.
2. I should be able to walk out of my house in a pair of Gap’s ’69 perfect boot medium wash heavy faded any ol’ jeans, a light knit sweater and ankle booties without breaking a sweat.
3. If you can drink a hot pumpkin beverage, you can go to a pumpkin patch. Oh, those aren’t open yet? Huh.
4. Leaves should match pumpkin pigment.
5. If the backdrop of a pumpkin pie or latte pic is a fall scene, then the backdrop of you eating the pie or latte should be the same.
6. Bikinis should not be on sales racks anymore (OK, clearance rack is fine.)
7. If you wouldn’t dip into a pool before temps rose above 70, why would you dip into hot spicy drinks before temps dipped below 70?
8. Lastly and ultimately, before you consume a pumpkiny something the ONE thing that should be present is some real pumpkin! Think before you eat
